Parenting Apart – support and resources

Whatever the circumstances of the separation, family breakdown is frequently an emotional rollercoaster, instigating painful and traumatic feelings and anxiety.

Different and often new roles within the family can be intimidating and require unexpected periods of adjustments.  Children can get caught up in their parents’ conflict and emotional and behavioural problems are more common if there have been or there are emotionally charged incidents taken place that the children are aware of.  Children can become very insecure, acting younger than their age, being clingy, having nightmares or disobedient or disruptive behaviour.

This can be very confusing and stressful for the parents struggling to understand their children’s needs and it can feel very isolating and scary.

Reducing conflict is crucial if the children are not going to be damaged by their parents’ actions and they need the support of both parents to get through the separation, adjust and flourish through their childhood and into their adult years.  Receiving the right support can help the parents, support their children.

In the mediation room family mediators usually spend some time reviewing issues from the past that are important to the parties, but to help the family move forward, their focus is on the present and the future, rather than on the past.   Family mediation can be emotional and upsetting issues may need to be discussed and family mediators will encourage the parties to talk honestly about their feelings but will also focus the mediation sessions on practical arrangements rather than emotion.  If the mediator believes that counselling could help someone in the family, the mediator will discuss and provide information about how to contact a counselling service.

Resources:

  • Worthy of reading is book by Christina McGhee called “parenting apart” it is full of useful tips and demonstrates a real understanding of how parents might be feeling and the struggles of the children and can be bought on Amazon.
  • There is also a collection of videos on that have been prepared as part of the voice of the child programme on https://www.seeitdifferently.org/
  • Family Wizard App. Is an app created especially for separated parents to help with their communication and arrangements www.ourfamilywizard.co.uk

Voucher Scheme

There is currently help from the Government available under the family mediation voucher scheme where you may be able to claim a £500 voucher towards your mediation costs. Please do discuss this with us when making your enquiry.

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